Dear Advertiser,

Just a Little Friendly Advice

Keeping The Kiddos Plump May 21, 2008

Filed under: Really?!,TV — K @ 4:41 pm
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Dear Days Inn,

I like your new logo and the spot I saw today was generic and fine, except for…



WTF March 2, 2008

Filed under: Really?! — K @ 1:16 am
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Dear Sales Genie,

I saw one of your commercials tonight that I have seen before, but this time something struck me. Sales Genie? Wasn’t that the company who ran the distasteful, racially stereotypical ads during the Super Bowl? No way, I thought. This sweet little bead-stringing girl in the somewhat cheesy, rather low-budget but not at all offensive ad I was watching could not be produced by the same company who created those juvenile spots. Could they? I checked my Super Bowl live blog and there they were – the Indian spot during the 5:45 CST break and the pandas during the 7:31 break.

Did they fire the agency who produced the Super Bowl commercials and decide to re-air the old ones instead of hiring a new agency? (Perhaps they could not afford one.) Do they plan on continuing to run these two vastly different campaigns simaltaneously? (Doubtful, because I haven’t seen the cartoon ads since the Super Bowl.)

Either way, both campaigns completely suck – but for extremely different reasons. The original is painfully lame and the Super Bowl ads are just repugnant. If you can afford it, hire a new agency and stay away from overly-adorable little children who are negelected by their overworked parents living a life without Sales Genie and racially insenstive cartoons.

Flabbergastedly Yours,



Maybe You Should Stick to Print March 1, 2008

Filed under: Love, KR,Really?!,TV — K @ 3:58 pm
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Dear Celebrex,

After the whole Vioxx fiasco, I understand that you have to be very clear with consumers about how your product just may kill them. That being said, I don’t think an entire commercial of fine print is the way to go. While most ads show happy people feeling better with a blurb about horrific side effects towards the end, your entire animated ad is nothing but over two minutes (YES, OVER TWO MINUTES) of explaining the multitude of risks. Let’s have a watch:

I don’t have arthritis, so I don’t know how bad it sucks, but all of those side effects (like dying) sound a whole lot worse.

The laundry list of things to worry about includes:

  • Heart attack
  • Stroke
  • “Skin reactions” (that’s a wee bit vague, if you ask me)
  • Stomach and intestine problems including bleeding and ulcers
  • Indigestion
  • Abdominal pain
  • Nausea
  • Not to mention, it’s incredibly boring. Your best bets are to A) hire a new media planner and B) maybe lay off the advertising until something fresh has come out of R&D.



    PS – I’m not saying you should hide the risks (see: Vioxx), but what I am saying is that a product with so many risks may need to rethink advertising until it is a bit safer.

    PPS – I’m still not entirely sure this isn’t some sort of punishment from the FTC. That’s actually the best explanation I can come up with for this trainwreck…


    Ruining Society January 16, 2008

    Filed under: Love, KR,Really?!,TV — K @ 12:22 am
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    Dear Cheetos,

    I guess if I eat your disgusting cheesy fried things (which I hate more than Doritos), I will be convinced by Chester Cheetah to be a terrible human being. In your recent television spot, at Chester’s urging, a young woman gets revenge on a fellow laundromat user by pouring Cheetos into her dryer full of white clothing.

    I don’t even know where to begin with this one. As if people didn’t already think television was unraveling the moral fabric of society, you have to literally send a message for people to be total assholes. My only guess is that your target market is total assholes and you are just trying to relate and offer them a snack that will justify their evil doings…I just don’t know…

    As for generally nice people and those worrying that television erodes our values, I don’t see them giving you very much positve feedback or buying your nasty cheesy snacks.

    I can only imagine what Chester will encourage some jerk to do in the next spot…



    UPDATE: Just to clear things up, I’m all about advertising pushing the limits. Give me ads with sex, drugs, and booze and I will probably send out a shoutout if it’s creative and on-target. Many would say ads like these are “unraveling the moral fabric of society,” which would contradict my statements above. To clarify, my problem with the commercial is the way the commercial encourages viewers to treat others in an unkind manner. That’s it. I don’t think it’s very a nice message. I saw the ad and immediately was turned off and was just sharing my thoughts. No need for anyone to get nasty.


    Buzz Kill December 21, 2007

    Dear US Department of Transportation,

    First off, I really do like your tagline “Over the Limit, Under Arrest.” It’s clever and gets the message across.




    I Can Make Pasta AND Ice Cream With That Thing?!?! December 12, 2007

    Filed under: Really?!,TV — K @ 2:48 am
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    Dear KitchenAid,

    I really want one of your amazing mixers. (**Hint*Hint**). From what I’ve learned from being in the kitchens of those more financially stable than I, you are doing okay. So why, I ask, did the commercial I just saw start out so great and then turn into a freaking infomercial????? There was a phone number suddenly appearing in the bottom for the last half of the commercial and there were promises of extra mixing devices if a purchase was made. Did Ron Popeil produce this spot?!?!

    Last time I checked infomercial-style 30- to 60-second advertisements are for products that people probably shouldn’t be inclined to buy – but with the promise of 3 extra free gifts will go ahead and purchase.


    This was such a downgrade! In my mind, the KitchenAid is now on par with Tweeze.




    The Ick Factor November 12, 2007

    Filed under: Love, KR,Really?!,TV — K @ 2:25 pm
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    Dear Buckley’s,

    I do not care how well your cough syrup works – and everyone else I’ve spoken with agrees. If I cannot tell the difference between your product and “pig tongue scrapings” or a “public restroom puddle,” I will stick with Vicks or anything else that is medicine flavored.

    I understand you are running the spots in male dominated markets (SpikeTV), but even guys are not that disgusting. I think you can have a disclaimer about the nastiness without inducing the desire to vomit.