Dear Advertiser,

Just a Little Friendly Advice

No Manolos For You June 2, 2008

Filed under: Love, KR — K @ 11:14 am
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Dear Progressive,

The Insurance Store created in your commercials is a great concept. However, the star of your commercial is the most irritating presence in ads since Alltel Chad stepped on the scene. Second, I think the priorities you are promoting are a little out of whack. In one commercial, a woman complains about the cost of car insurance, and upon seeing how much she can save (it’s around $400 bucks I think), she joyously announces she can buy new shoes. NEW SHOES??? You can barely afford car insurance and you are going to use your savings on NEW SHOES???? We are in a freaking recession, lady!!!! Why not pay down some of that credit card debt or get your poor children health insurance. AND THEN…our terribly annoying saleslady informs us that approximately 400 bucks can buy a “big tricked-out nametag.” No.




Not Gonna Happen May 17, 2008

Filed under: Love, KR — K @ 4:03 pm

Dear Old Mutual,

Replacing random words with “Old Mutual” will never catch on and I’ll tell you why…The replacements make ZERO SENSE. If the use of “Old Mutual” was put in place words and phrases that reflect your alleged principles such as “common sense” and “responsibility” and “intuition,” THAT would make sense. However, replacing anything and everything with “Old Mutual” does not. What on Earth are you trying to do when “Old Mutual” replaces not only people’s delight, but their disgruntlement about other people getting promoted as a result of nepotism or kids whining about their uptight parents? I think it is time to rethink this one.

Kindest Regards,



Snobs. May 14, 2008

Filed under: Love, KR — K @ 8:37 pm
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If this is not the most stuck up ad I’ve ever seen, I’ll be damned:

I am actually pretty sure you’re connecting with your audience here, but at whose expense. We’ve got the clean cut guy playing tennis whose “game” is ruined by a bunch of unkempt slobs. I think there’s better ways of conveying that you have jobs for elite than making those who aren’t qualified look like riff raff.




Getting Together for a Good Cause March 27, 2008

Filed under: Keep It Up,Love, KR — K @ 2:09 pm

Dear Al Gore,

Your rock. I just read about the ad campaign for your not-for-profit The Alliance for Climate Protection that is slated to begin next week. Now we all know that PSAs tend to be A) boring or B) trying a bit too hard to be edgy. However, what I just read about your campaign literally brought a smile to my face. Let’s have a read at the clip from the 60 minutes article:

Some of the ads will feature unlikely alliances to drive home the message that people of all stripes are concerned about global warming. These include the Rev. Al Sharpton and the Rev. Pat Robertson, Toby Keith and the Dixie Chicks, and Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich.

This is absolute brillance. I would like to shake the person who came up with this strategy’s hand. Hell, I might even bear hug him or her. Among the pairings, that of Toby Keith and the Dixie Chicks is astounding. For those who don’t remember, they had a long battle over opinions on Bush that at one point involved shirts reading “FUTK”. As divisive as politics have been along party lines these days, this campaign will give strong evidence that global warming that transcends politics.

All the Best,



Superior Marketing Tactics March 23, 2008

Filed under: Love, KR — K @ 9:41 am
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Dear Axe and BodMan,

You have a lot in common, primarily that you are nearly the exact same product  – both manly-scented deoderizing body sprays. There are 2 major differences:

1. BodMan has been around a heck of a lot longer (in the US, it seems – see Post Script)

2. Axe (known as Lynx across the pond) is hugely successful; BodMan is not. (Side Note: Tag Body Spray has attempted to piggy back on Axe’s strategy but has not been nearly successful due to the fact that it’s a lame imitation.)

Now why the difference between Axe and BodMan? Simply marketing.

You can watch a BodMan ad here.

If you didn’t check it out, here is the description: Sweaty men playing football, dated up-tempo music, woman saying “Hot bod, I want your bod” and an image of cheapo-looking, clear containers filled with a concotion that looks radioactive. It’s cheesy and unappealing to men. Sure it plays on women being attracted to men, but the execution is horrific.  For a description that illustrates my point, read the post by Stinger97 on this forum. (These ads were running in 2007, think about that.) 

Guys probably got Bod Man only when their well-meaning mothers stuck it in their stockings to give them a sly reminder to freshen up.

On the other hand, Axe stormed onto the seen with controversial ads that appealed to men’s basic instincts – getting laid. And if smelling good is what it takes, men will cover themselves in Axe. (Trust me, I know more than a few.) I had a friend who initially thought Axe was lame, but the advertising was edgy enough to grab the interest of some women as well and pretty soon he was going through a can a week.

Additionally, Axe has gotten extremely creative. There have been entire programs that are, quite simply, Axe ads. They’ve aired both on Spike TV and MTV (Game Killers). Spike TV aired  “Exposing the Order of the Serpentine,” an alleged 30 minute news-doc about how a secret cult of men who, I guess, worshipped snakes and got laid by beautiful women. This was, of course, an extended ad for Axe’s Snakepeel Body Wash. Some people might find it a bit sleazy, but the content could be considered actually entertaining, which is where Axe always scores big. Sure it’s a little risque at times, but that it what Axe is going for and the audience eats it up. At times, it is even artsy. Check out this Lynx (Axe in England) ad:



It Comes to This *Sigh* March 11, 2008

Dear Dominos,

I have written about fine print in pharmaceutical and financial advertising – both industries where one would expect fine print – and now I write about fine print advertising regarding…wait for it…pizza delivery. Even though the commercials tell me that I’ve got thirty minutes and it’s stupid entertaining characters show me all of the stupid funny things I could do during those thirty minutes, it turns out I could have a lot more time to do said things. That’s because, right before the announcer engergetically tells me “You Got 30 Mintues” (shouldn’t it be “You’ve Got 30 Minutes”?) there is some fine print at the bottom of the screen that tells me otherwise. It appears around 7 seconds. Let’s have a watch…

In case you didn’t feel like squinting that hard to read it, it says:

Because safety is a priority, “You Got 30 Minutes” is not a guarantee, but an estimate.

So, basically, the tagline is a lie. I understand that safety is a priority, but just like in the case of Celebrex, maybe you should switch up your strategy. I know that “You/You’ve Got More Than Thirty Minutes” isn’t very catchy, so maybe you should stick to advertising your disgusting delicious product instead of your inability to hire Nascar wannabes as drivers.




Eaten Alive March 3, 2008

Filed under: Keep It Up,Love, KR,TV — K @ 3:06 am
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Dear Wachovia / AG Edwards,

I have known for a bit that AG Edwards had been folded into Wachovia, but I had forgotten, and the commercial I saw to night delivered me what I have to admit was a very nice reminder. Unfortunately, I cannot find the video. (Shame on you, Wachovia. youTUBE these things!) As I have mentioned before, I have had a great deal of respect for AG Edwards advertising stragtegy, and I have always enjoyed Wachovia’s ads (though I have not mentioned this).

The adverisement tonight, which I shall entitle “With” (hell, that may even be the real title) was quite pleasant. It had fantastic narration, charming visuals, and at the very end my beloved egg rolled right into the Wachovia logo. I positively love advertisements that provide me with an enchanting and memorable experience and this was certainly one of those. Well done.

All the best,